Phobias
by jjgp1112
Summary: Vegeta and Bulma are in the middle of a typical mundane day at Capsule Corp. while waiting for the Namekian Dragon Balls to charge up, when one of the Saiyan Prince's worst nightmares personified arrives right in the kitchen. One-shot, set during the 130 days after the fight with Frieza.


**This fic assumes that all of that filler where Vegeta was acting like a douche after they got teleported to Earth never happened. Episode 107 retconned it out anyway. **

**I don't own Dragon Ball/Z/GT, though I do have a tree in my living room that's kinda shaped like Vegeta's hair.**

Vegeta sauntered through the hallways of Capsule Corp, his sights set on the refrigerator in the kitchen. It was certainly a welcome change of pace from needing eyes in the back of his head while he marched down the halls of one of Frieza's bases to get foul-tasting foods cooked from the most disgusting beasts across the galaxy. He'd been staying in the big building for three weeks now, and though the boredom was already starting to annoy him, even a Saiyan needed some time to rest from the rollercoaster ride that was the last year. The hospitality was adequate, though some of the hosts…

"Hey, Vegeta."

…could use some work. Vegeta halted his stride and curiously looked out the corner of his eye at the couch, where Bulma was sitting and eating from a box of her precious strawberry ice cream. He rolled his eyes and resumed walking to the kitchen. Thus far, he couldn't understand that girl one bit. For one thing, she invited someone who she didn't know as anything more than a sadistic space pirate with the blood of hundreds of civilizations on his hands to live with her, as if his civility was guaranteed. Sure, sure, he was validating her trust by not blowing everyone to bits at this very moment, but that's because it wouldn't be conducive to his selfish motives.

What he really couldn't get was how damn accommodating she was being. If Vegeta wasn't eating, he stayed almost exclusively in the room Bulma set up for him. But every single time he was out, she would try to talk to him. Even when he learned of her relationship with Yamcha, who was (rather hilariously) blown up by a Saibaman of all things, and threw his responsibility for his death in her face, she STILL kept prodding him. And the mouth on her! He hadn't met a girl so vulgar since those feisty Cyclopses Frieza kept in the slave quarters when he was a kid.

He did consider the possibility that he was just so unbelievably handsome – he _was_ the Prince of Saiyans, after all – that she just couldn't help herself around him; after all, he recalled her fawning like a cheerleader when everybody's favorite androgynous asskisser, Zarbon, challenged him to steal his dragon ball. But even she couldn't have been vapid enough to attempt to court somebody who had indirectly caused her so much peril.

Right?

Vegeta pushed the thoughts to the side and explored the contents of the refrigerator. The selections in front of him were admittedly overwhelming. Though Bulma's mother, with her squeaky voice and creepy eyes that seemingly never opened, was eccentric enough to somehow make Frieza look normal, she made some damn good food. Enough for him to almost consider sparing her when he finally wiped Earth from existence. Almost.

Vegeta decided there was no use in being picky and just grabbed as many delectable items as he saw fit. He somehow managed to fit everything from cans of yogurt, butter popcorn, and kiwis to an entire cake in his hand. He casually dumped them on the counter and sorted through he wanted to eat first. One of first things he grabbed was a carrot, which he promptly tossed away into the trash can behind him. It wasn't that he had a problem with vegetables, but he'd tasted a carrot before and it was pretty disgusting.

Vegeta reached up to one of the counters up top and found a tray. He was in the middle of dumping the food onto it, when he noticed something peculiar in the corner of his eye. It looked like something was…_squirming_. It looked like an object slithering behind a coffee cup resting besides the sink. Vegeta lifted it up to see what was hiding…

Bulma was in the midst of enjoying her ice cream and laughing at a TV show when her trance was interrupted by the sound of porcelain shattering on the floor and a loud, raspy shriek of fear. The blue-haired woman leapted from her couch and paled at the sight of Vegeta quivering in fear and stiffly stepping back.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?" Bulma warily asked. "Don't tell me you just saw some old space enemy out the window! _Crap_, maybe I shoulda thought twice befo-"

"Destroy it!"

"What?" Bulma asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't just stand there, do something about this thing!" Vegeta demanded. If Bulma didn't know any better, it almost sounded like Vegeta was begging. She scurried over to Vegeta and stood next to him, looking around for whatever had him stunned in terror.

"What is it? I don't see anything," Bulma remarked.

"Right there, you idiot!" Vegeta barked, pointing his finger directly at the counter.

"Wha…?" Bulma settled her eyes at the direction of Vegeta's finger. Sure there was something there, alright; it's just that it was…

"A worm? That's it?" Bulma asked in bewilderment, wondering if Vegeta had gone mad or was pulling some ruse in order to kill her.

"Get the damn thing away from my food!" Vegeta demanded. To Bulma, it was a simple worm, but judging from the panicked look in Vegeta's eyes, he was seeing Frieza's fifth form.

Bulma smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Vegeta, you _cannot _be serious right now."

"Do I look like I'm joking, Earth woman?!" Vegeta growled.

"You're a fucking _Saiyan_, Vegeta," Bulma snickered. "I was there when I saw you kill the shit out of that blue guy when he turned into a monster. This is _nothing_."

Vegeta turned his heel, still staring intently at the worm but very obviously cowering in its presence. Bulma's smirk became a genuine smile as she found amusement out of the genocidal alien warrior's childish phobia. "Oh my God, you're actually serious."

"I don't understand you Saiyans; first Goku with needles, now you with worms," Bulma said as she sorted through a few drawers in the kitchen and looked for an expendable item. "Stand up to the scariest looking freaks in the universe yet you can't handle a critter."

Bulma retrieved a dark block of wood and turned to face Vegeta. She raised it up so that it was within his clear view. "See, Vegeta? I have this block," she directed, speaking to Vegeta like he was a five-year old. She gingerly walked backwards towards the cabinet. "I'm gonna use it to take care of your," she snorted with laughter, "_Enemy._"

Then, in a swift motion, Bulma turned around and smashed the worm with enough intensity to rival a Saiyan. Vegeta gagged and covered his mouth, fighting back the bile rising to his throat. It was one thing to see that slimy creature crawling around and squirming like a gelatinous abomination, but to see its guts flying around? There were galactic brothels that offered less nauseating sights.

"It's okay, Vegeta. It can't harm you anymore," Bulma deadpanned. This situation put a smile on her face that she was sure wouldn't leave her for at least a week. Vegeta fired a carefully aimed beam at the worm's crushed remains to vaporize any trace of it. Bulma leapt back, startled by the move. "What the hell, Vegeta? A few inches to the left and you could've ruined my perfect skin!"

Vegeta scoffed at her remarks, though it had occurred to him that woman was very attractive. While his heartbeat slowed down to normal and he wiped sweat off of his forehead, he observed Bulma clean off the block of wood with more interest than he would've cared to admit. The blue-haired beauty turned around and folded her arms over her chest.

"Well? Aren't I gonna get a thank you or something?" she asked.

Vegeta matched her posture and gave her the type of glare that left entire civilizations screaming with the same fear he just showed to an earthworm. However, Bulma didn't waver one bit, which mystified him. _She must have undergone adventures of colossal proportions to be so fearless,_ he said to himself.

"If you tell_ anyone_ about this, I'll tear you limb from limb and burn the remains," Vegeta threatened.

Bulma smirked, which flustered Vegeta. "Sure thing; to be honest, I'm a little too embarrassed for you to tell anybody about this. We'll leave this between you and me. But I mean honestly, Vegeta, how are _you_ of all people afraid of a little worm? You're one of the strongest guys in the universe."

Vegeta raised a curious eyebrow at her remark, as she said that last part without a trace of irony. Instead of letting any thoughts come fester to his head, he pushed it away and looked off to the side.

"It's just an animal. We're the deadliest predator around, they ca-"

"Ribbit…"

Bulma's sentence stopped dead in its tracks and she froze. It was the unmistakable sound of a frog, and it caught Vegeta's interest as well. He found it instantly – it was sitting against windowsill, observing the two casually. It was definitely a Namekian frog, as it was far bulkier than the ones on Earth.

Bulma took a deep breath and turned around very, _very_ slowly. When she saw it, she shrieked so loud Vegeta winced and then leaped behind him with inhuman speed. She was clinging to Vegeta's back as if he were a human shield.

"Kill it, Vegeta!" she pleaded.

Vegeta smirked and raised his chin. "Well, well, it appears you've managed to still make yourself useful, Ginyu."

The frog hopped up against the wall and attempted to innocently whistle. Vegeta sadistically chuckled and lifted his hand, causing the super-elite soldier-turned-frog to squeal in fear and stagger back. However, he lowered his hand and turned around to face Bulma, who was cowering just as he had been a few minutes earlier.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were scared. How about we just call a spade a spade, woman," Vegeta taunted, his smirk growing.

He grabbed his tray and walked away, laughing even while Bulma yelled, "That analogy doesn't even make sense the way you used it, you dick!" Vegeta ignored her and continued walking to his room, thoroughly satisfied by a situation that started deadly (in his eyes, at least) to amusing.

"You better get away, creep!" Bulma shrieked. "I don't have my communication device with me so you can't swap bodies with me again!" Unfortunately, she didn't realize that Vegeta was within earshot and caught the boisterous laughter from him upon hearing that little factoid. Despite her anger and fear, however, the sound of his laughter actually made her smile. It was a sound unlike the sadistic cackles from when he killed Zarbon and stole their Dragon Ball.

She sighed. As utterly absurd as it was, at least she learned something about stone cold Saiyan warrior.


End file.
